"The person who wins the basket gets to spend the day with the peson who made it. [Lifts basket] Basket, [points at Rory] basket-maker, [points at Dean] guy who didn't bring enough money..."






Rory: "You seem to have a very firm grasp of the English language. You put together several full sentences, even using a couple of words that contain two or more syllables, and then my mother appears and suddenly we need a thought bubble over your head to understand what you’re thinking. Can you tell me why that is?"
Jess: "The verbal thing comes and goes."

Rory: I thought you said you didn't read much.

Jess: Well, what is much? Goodnight Rory.

Rory: Goodnight Dodger.

Jess: Dodger?

Rory: Figure it out.

Jess: Oliver Twist.

LUKE: What are you doing?

JESS: I go to a. . .a place that gives me money.

LUKE: For what?

JESS: For my services.

LUKE: What services? What place? [pause] Jess, are you a gigolo?

JESS: What?

LUKE: Well, I don’t know. You say you go to a place where they give you money. . .

JESS: I do.

LUKE: Where?

JESS: Wal-Mart.

LUKE: Excuse me?

JESS: I’ve been working there twelve hours a week for the past few months to get extra money for the car.

LUKE: You wear a vest and everything?

JESS: It’s the uniform, I have to.

LUKE: You’ve been sneaking out of here with a little vest hidden on you?

JESS: It’s not a little vest.

LUKE: Is it blue?

JESS: Will you stop talking about the vest?

LUKE: Do you get a store discount?

JESS: Fifteen percent. And if you want fifteen percent off anything, you’re not gonna get it ‘cause you’re being a jerk.

LUKE: My enjoyment is worth the loss.

Jess: You know, Ernest only has lovely things to say about you.

Rory: Why are you only nice to me?

Jess: Excuse me?

Rory: An hour ago you were totally screwing with Dean and now you’re totally nice to me.

Jess: You see, it’s the screwing with Dean - that’s an important step to getting here so that I can be nice to you

Rory: What are you doing?

Jess: Well, I heard it was two to a sleigh - no more, no less. You were breaking the rules.

Rory: You could've hurt yourself.

Jess: I live on the edge. I can jump out if you want.

Rory: Doesn't matter to me.

Jess: Are you mad at me or something?

Rory: What do you think?

Jess: I can't read your mind.

Rory: You got into a fight with Dean.

Jess: Dean?

Rory: My boyfriend.

Jess: Ah. He's still your boyfriend?

Rory: Okay, you can jump out now.